


Always Keep You Next To Me

by lululawrence



Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, American Greg James, American Louis Tomlinson, Banter, Based on Two of Us, Childhood Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, It Happens Before the Fic Starts, Kinda, Louis is a Twin, M/M, No Smut, Road Trips, Sharing a Bed, Song fic, Travel, death of a fictional character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:15:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23814451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lululawrence/pseuds/lululawrence
Summary: Louis jumped when the passenger side door opened and Greg somehow folded his entire lanky frame into the car.“Hey, thanks for waiting for me,” Greg said with a small smile before buckling up. “Do I get the honor?”Right. Louis couldn’t drive safely with Will’s remains in his arms. It was just ever since his mom had handed the urn over to him last night, he hadn’t been able to bring himself to let it go. He’d even curled up around it on Will’s childhood bed as he called his cell over and over again, just to hear his voice once more.Fuck.When Louis' twin dies, Louis decides to take the birthday road trip they were meant to take together with Will's best friend Greg instead. As they both mourn Will's death and celebrate his life, Louis and Greg become closer and maybe start to heal a little bit too.
Relationships: Greg James/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34
Collections: Walls Fic Fest





	Always Keep You Next To Me

**Author's Note:**

> I had so many ideas for this fic and how to take it, but I ended up merging something like three of the ideas and this was the result. I'm actually quite pleased, even if it isn't what I had originally hoped due to time restraints. I hope you like it as much as I do.
> 
> Massive thanks to my beta, [Nic](https://louandhazaf.tumblr.com)! When no one else would touch this, I appreciate that you would. hehe Big thanks to the mods, as well!
> 
> The title is from Two of Us, obviously. I don't own the characters or know anything of them in real life, and as such this is very much a work of fiction. Please don't share it with anyone associated with them. I also do not allow translations or reposting of the fic without my express permission. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy!

Louis jumped when the passenger side door opened and Greg somehow folded his entire lanky frame into the car.

“Hey, thanks for waiting for me,” Greg said with a small smile before buckling up. “Do I get the honors?”

Louis blinked at him in confusion before Greg motioned to his lap. 

Right. Louis couldn’t drive safely with Will’s remains in his arms. It was just ever since his mom had handed the urn over to him last night, he hadn’t been able to bring himself to let it go. He’d even curled up around it on Will’s childhood bed as he called his cell over and over again, just to hear his voice once more.

Fuck.

Louis swiped at the tears on his face as he handed it over to Greg. Greg, of all people, would take care of Louis’ brother. Greg had been Will’s other best friend from the moment they met. Louis had found it so strange growing up. They were twins, shouldn’t they share friends? But there was always a connection between Will and Greg that no one else had. 

Not even Louis and Will, which was saying something. 

Greg was a good six years older than them, and at first Will had followed him around like a puppy while Greg had somehow not grown tired of him. Everyone laughed as the lanky teen treated the elementary schooler as his equal, but as the years went on, Greg never changed. Eventually, Will had become something of an equal, and their friendship grew from there until now. 

“So…” Greg said, quiet. “This road trip is the one thing Will didn’t really tell me about. Said it was special with just the two of you.”

Louis took a deep breath and nodded. “We planned big birthday celebrations for ourselves to bring in our new decades. This was the one we were supposed to do when we turn thirty.”

The _but we’re doing it now_ was left unspoken. It was a year earlier than they’d planned, but Louis also couldn’t think of a better way to honor his brother’s memory than to take the trip they’d been planning for nine years already. This way he’d still get to see the sites and Will would too, in a way, as Louis spread his ashes along the road and at every landmark they’d plotted out together.

It wasn’t incredibly extensive. It was mostly long days of driving along boring roads as they went from one random place to another, but it was theirs. Or, it had been. 

“Okay, well. I’m ready if you are. You just let me know if I need to do anything or take my turn driving.”

“Sorry for making you take off work so unexpectedly long for this at the last minute,” Louis said as he put the car into drive. “I just wasn’t sure if I’d still be able to do it if I waited.”

Greg smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes like it usually did. It made him look as sad as Louis felt inside.

“It’s not a problem. Everyone at the station understands.”

Louis nodded and headed for the freeway. “Alright. Here we go.”

*~~***~~*

“So you’re telling me that outside of a random ass Amish cheese shop off the side of the road in Indiana, you guys didn’t have anywhere to stop until South Dakota?”

Louis finished chewing his mouthful of squeaky cheese and homemade bread before glancing Greg’s way.

“Why are you judging me?” Louis rolled his eyes. “We decided we could only make so many stops, and you’d be surprised how many things we wanted to see in South Dakota.”

“Yeah,” Greg said, tossing a piece of squeaky cheese in his mouth, “but we’re driving through Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin, and Minnesota to get to South Dakota and you’re telling me outside of an Amish cheese place just inside Indiana’s eastern border, we aren’t stopping anywhere?” 

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you.”

Louis couldn’t help but smile. He and Will knew this first leg would be long, but worth it. 

“So how many stops are we making in South Dakota once we get there in ten years?”

Louis looked over to where Greg had the seat pushed back as far as it would go, but still had his knees to his chest since he had his feet propped on the dash. Idiot.

“Three,” Louis answered, before pausing. “Well, four technically, but one we just drive through. We don’t stop there.”

He could feel the weight of Greg’s stare.

“You two are fucking morons,” Greg said cheerily before tearing off another piece of bread. “I have no idea how your brains work.”

Louis smirked. “After all those years of knowing Will, we’re still a mystery?”

“Well, you certainly are,” Greg said as he looked out the window at the corn fields. “Don’t even pretend like you and Will were like those twins that are so similar you could trade places for a day. I know better.”

“God, no,” Louis agreed. “We might have been identical physically, but otherwise we couldn’t be more different.”

“Exactly,” Greg said. “Oh my God, remember at your twenty-first when I tried dragging you to the dance floor before I realized you weren’t Will?”

Louis snorted. “You were so drunk that night. You were always able to tell the difference, otherwise.”

“You were nice enough to go with me even though you were obviously uncomfortable,” Greg said with a chuckle. “I’d never been more horrified, though. Last thing I wanted to do was ruin your first night legally drinking.”

Shaking his head, Louis sighed. “It wasn’t that bad, really. You made me feel much better about my dancing, anyway, what with your ridiculously long arms flailing everywhere.”

They both laughed then went quiet, but it was comfortable. It was so strange. Louis had never spent more than a handful of minutes alone with Greg. He was one of those people who was popular with everyone, just like Will, and therefore would pop in and out as he pleased and with no real rhyme or reason. Louis was quieter, kept more to himself. Between those differences and their ages, they’d never really been alone.

Until now. Louis had been so surprised when Greg agreed to go with him for this road trip without more of an explanation than just, “I need someone to go with me as I say goodbye to Will.” What a way to get to know each other after being a part of each other’s lives, at least in the periphery, for years.

“Hey, just so you know, I think this is a really cool thing you’re doing,” Greg said, talking over the sound of Elton John in the background. 

Louis blinked a little as the song switched over to something by Usher that had been popular twenty years ago. Will’s playlists always had been incredibly random.

“Thanks,” he said, swallowing harshly. “Think we should do another handful out the window?”

“Oh, sure,” Greg said, taking his feet off the dashboard finally. He carefully opened the urn and said, “Heya, Wills. Glad to have you with us. Enjoy the boring scenery of Indiana as we make our way west.”

Once Greg had his handful and the lid secured once more, Louis rolled down all the windows, turned the music up loud enough they could hear it over the wind, and Greg stuck his hand out the window, allowing the ashes to stream out behind them.

“Love you,” Louis whispered as one more piece of his brother faded from them.

*~~***~~*

Louis and Greg stood in the doorway, heads tilted to the side a little as they took in the room.

“You sure you don’t want us to plan the rest of the trip a bit more and book rooms ahead of time?” Greg asked. “The floor is… spongy.”

“This was how we always did it growing up, and we wanted to kind of channel that energy again,” Louis explained as he finally walked in. 

“Yeah, but Lou, the entire room is wet.”

Louis tried to ignore the tingles that went up his spine when Greg called him by his nickname. Will and his mom were the only ones who ever called him Lou. Not even his boyfriend he’d dated for five years had called him that. There was something about the familiarity that caused Louis to blush.

“It’s midnight already, Greg. You saw the no vacancy signs as well as I did leading up to this place. We took what we could get. Do you want to sleep in the car?”

Greg scrunched up his nose and tip toed over to the bed. He gingerly touched the blanket lying on top and sighed. “Well. The bed is dry, at least. It’ll do, but please let me pay for the next place and get us a better hotel?”

Louis rolled his eyes. “We’ll see, you big baby.”

“Here ya go, Willy,” Greg said as he placed Will on the miniscule desk the room provided. 

“Don’t call my brother Willy,” Louis begged as he walked to the bathroom to change into pajamas and brush his teeth.

Greg continued as if Louis hadn’t said anything. “You’ll watch over us tonight, won’t you? Make sure we aren’t killed by an ax murderer or anything?”

“Fucking idiot,” Louis said with a smile as he locked the door.

Half an hour later, Louis was lounging on the bed checking his notifications when Greg made an affronted sound and came rushing back from the bathroom. 

“Look at this!” Greg cried, holding up one of the plastic cups provided. A stream of water was pouring out of the side, near the bottom. “I unwrapped it and tried filling it with water and it did this! No wonder the floor is wet, all their cups have holes!”

“Okay, so this place is a shithole. I’m sorry,” Louis agreed, laughing about the cup. “At least the air conditioner is working so hopefully the humidity in here will dry up as we sleep.”

“I cannot believe the cups are even fucked,” Greg murmured as he returned to the bathroom. “I’m definitely not getting my bath in this place.”

“Your bath?” Louis called back. “You were going to take a bath in this nasty hotel room’s tub?”

“I was going to try, but who knows what kind of disease I would contract from this hellish place in nowheresville, Wisconsin,” Greg complained. “I’ll have to hope for better tomorrow.”

“You’re so weird,” Louis laughed.

The bed bounced as Greg jumped onto the available side. Louis looked over to see he was wearing a pair of basketball shorts and no top. He’d seen Greg shirtless plenty of times, but for some reason tonight he couldn’t stop staring at the little curls of his chest hair. He wanted to run his fingers through it, but held himself back. That was a little too weird.

“You know, today has been nice,” Greg said. “I wasn’t sure what to expect, but you’re good company.”

Louis made a face as he looked up at Greg’s face. “You don’t have to sound so surprised.”

“But I kind of am,” Greg said, laughing when Louis hit him with a pillow. “It’s just that you hardly ever spoke to me before all this. I wasn’t sure how enjoyable the experience would actually be.”

Louis shifted a little, feeling uncomfortable now. “Well, hopefully it isn’t torture for you.”

“Hey.” Greg reached out and gently wrapped his hand around Louis’ arm until he looked back at him. “It’s nothing close to torture, unless you count this horrible room. It’s actually really nice to finally feel like I’m getting to know you better.”

Studying his face, Louis felt the ball of tension that had coiled in his stomach slowly release. “Yeah?”

Greg smiled, and for the first time since Will had passed, it reached his eyes a little bit. “Yeah.”

*~~***~~*

“The Badlands, sure. Mount Rushmore, yeah okay. Even the Corn Palace was cool if not the most obscure thing I could have ever imagined. But Wall Drug?”

Louis stood clutching the urn as they stood outside of the large, if not kind of boring looking, drug store.

“Yeah,” Louis said happily. “Wall Drug.”

Greg looked from Louis to the storefront and then back at Louis. “All those billboards made it seem like it was more exciting than this.”

Louis snorted. “With a name like Wall Drug, what were you expecting?”

“I don’t know!” Greg cried, waving his arms around. “Something more than this!”

“I told you this was Will’s choice, you should have known better.”

“God,” Greg said, rubbing his hand over his face. “All of Will’s are the strange as shit things, and yours are the actual tourist attractions, aren’t they?”

Shrugging, Louis nodded. “Yeah, basically.”

“Alright, well let’s get Will on out here with us and then we can go inside and see if we can find anything interesting.”

Greg took the urn from Louis and opened it, holding it out towards him. 

Louis reached in and filled his hand with the ashes. It was only the second time he’d gotten to do this himself. Every other time he’d been driving and had asked Greg to do it. Taking a deep breath, he pulled his hand out and watched the ashes drift away from them as a burst of wind rushed by them.

“There he is,” Greg said. “I knew he was with us. All that manic energy, still manifesting somehow.”

“Yeah,” Louis agreed. He brushed his hands off, and turned to Greg. “I need a picture with that jackalope. Let’s go.”

“Maybe you and Will aren’t all that different after all,” Greg called after him when Louis ran towards the statue.

That was the best compliment Louis had gotten in years.

*~~***~~*

Louis was having a Rough Day. He knew it would all catch up with him at some point; he’d lost a part of him the day that Will died. 

He just hadn’t realized it would feel like _this._ He woke up that morning feeling like he had been gutted overnight, his insides left raw and open so even just a light breeze would cause the utmost pain.

He’d closed his eyes and laid as still as he could in bed, hoping Greg would just keep sleeping and let them pretend that the day never happened. Maybe Louis could hide from it and time would stop moving and by the time Louis had healed enough to exist again, he could try once more.

Louis wasn’t that lucky.

Mere minutes after Louis woke up wishing he had been the one that was taken rather than the one left behind, Greg rolled over and cleared his throat.

“We’re going to Teton National Park today, right?”

His voice was rough with disuse and it caused shivers to run up Louis’ spine. How he could feel that kind of pleasure when the rest of him was literally yearning for an end to his pain was driving him mad. Greg had been causing those kinds of feelings within him since a day or two after they’d left home for this trip. Now that they were a week into it, Louis was more lost than ever. Every time he was becoming consumed with sadness and loss, Greg distracted him in the best way. Louis had started wondering if there was room within him to feel want and desire as well as loss and heartache, even though it seemed impossible before.

His loss and heartache felt bigger today than it had been, though.

Louis finally nodded, acknowledging he’d heard Greg’s question. He turned and looked at him, and Greg’s brown eyes were studying his face.

“You okay?”

Louis bit his lip and felt the tears fill his eyes. He didn’t want to speak, afraid his voice would give away just how not okay he was.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Greg said, his tone soft. “Come here.”

Greg reached out and pulled Louis into him, causing the first of Louis’ sobs to tear from him. He was crying with such force it felt like it was being ripped from his chest. He’d cried before now, of course he had, but it had always been with a sense of reserve, almost like his own self-preservation was still kicking in because he somehow knew deep down that if he let himself cry like this before, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to hold himself together enough to keep functioning.

In that moment, though, with Greg’s arms wrapped around him, Louis felt like maybe Greg could hold him together and he finally fell apart with abandon.

Louis kept reliving that moment over and over as they drove, and even now as they slowly hiked their way to the lake Will had specifically wanted to visit, Louis was focusing on how it felt to have Greg holding him tight. Keeping all the broken pieces of Louis from becoming lost.

Greg had been wonderful and quiet while still being a steady presence for Louis. He somehow knew just when Louis was getting far enough down that he needed to get his mind off it all as well as when Louis needed to feel the pain. The sadness. 

“You know, it’s just like Will to force us into nature,” Greg said, laughing. “I don’t mind a walk in the park, but there’s a lot of bugs and shit out here, isn’t there?”

Louis chuckled a little, amusement forcing its way in with the sadness. “God, yeah. He swore that this was the part of the Tetons we needed to see in addition to the actual mountains, but this mile hike to get there isn’t my favorite.”

Right then, the trees opened and Louis stopped, taking in the scene. 

Lake Leigh was sprawling in front of them reflecting back the clear, blue sky, snow capped mountains, and evergreens lining the edges of the lake. Louis unconsciously took a few steps forward, stumbling a little when the ground started to give beneath him.

In shock, he looked down and found white sand beneath his feet.

“This is the most gorgeous place I’ve ever seen in my entire life,” Greg said, voice filled with awe. 

Louis wanted to look at him, see if his face reflected everything Louis was feeling inside, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the water. It was so still, so pure, he felt like it was healing some small part of him inside just looking at it.

“Good thing we brought lunch,” Louis said, voice hardly above a whisper. “I don’t want to leave here anytime soon.”

They slowly made their way around the lake until they came to a fallen tree that would work as a bench. They settled down and quietly ate their meals they’d picked up at a gas station, and allowed nature to completely surround them.

After an hour or so of sitting in the sun, listening to the birds, and watching the wind cause small waves to come up on the water, Greg leaned over enough so that his shoulder nudged Louis’.

“Being here, it feels like Will’s here too.” Greg paused and looked at the urn he’d placed on the sand in front of them, almost like he wanted Will to be able to see the beauty too. “Not just, like, his remains. But like… I can feel him. Can you?”

Louis studied Greg’s face, his earnest eyes, and took a deep breath. Turning back to the lake, he closed his eyes and tilted his head back a little. The pain was still fresh, still real, but it wasn’t overpowering anymore. Something about this place, being still, had helped so Louis didn’t feel quite so burdened by it anymore.

But he realized he also didn’t feel alone. Part of that was Greg, but part of it was also very distinctly like Will.

“Yeah,” Louis said, smiling back towards the water. “Yeah, I feel him too.”

“How should we disperse him here?” Greg asked, wagging his eyebrows. “Think we should do it right here? Maybe leave some of him on the trail back towards the car as well?”

“Fuck, yes,” Louis said, laughing a little at the thought of leaving some of Will in the forest. “He needs to see what kind of trail he had us take just to get here.”

Greg sighed, taking another long look at the lake. “It was worth it, though. He picked a special spot.”

Louis pursed his lips and nodded. “Yeah. He did.”

The walk back wasn’t nearly so bad as the hike up, but Louis thought maybe it was because the worst parts of him really had been healed while sitting in silence beside the lake.

*~~***~~*

“What specifically are we seeing in Boulder?” Greg asked once he’d parked on the side of the road.

“Dunno.” Louis shrugged.

Ever since that Rough Day in Wyoming, Louis’ sadness felt a little more bearable. Less persistent. It would still become overwhelming in waves, but those waves receded and never once did he feel like he was going to drown quite like he had that day.

“What do you mean?” Greg asked, looking at Louis in surprise. “Why’d you choose it, then?”

Louis blushed and looked at Greg, his nose squished up a little. “I’m not sure I want to tell you.”

“Why not?” Greg asked, voice high and loud in his disbelief.

“Because you’ll judge me,” Louis said, folding his arms. 

“I will not,” Greg argued. “When have I ever judged you?”

“You judged me thirty minutes ago for my choice of gas station snack,” Louis pointed out.

“Oh come on, you got Werther’s Originals! Like my Grandpa! And do those even count as a snack? They don’t help with hunger! Or thirst!”

“See?” Louis said, climbing out of the car. He ducked back down to look at Greg, who still hadn’t moved from the driver’s seat. “Judgement.”

Greg climbed out and groaned a little. “God, I was not meant for sitting in a tiny car for hours at a time for days on end.”

“Maybe you’re just a giant living in a normal sized person’s world,” Louis suggested, hoping to take Greg’s attention off of why he’d chosen Boulder. “Come on, there’s a diner right over here and I’m starving. Want to get me a sandwich.”

They walked over to the diner, and Louis couldn’t help but look around. It felt like a small town even though it was a legitimate city, and Louis loved it. Taking a deep breath in, he hummed a little. It even _smelled_ cleaner than most cities.

They took the seat the waitress waved them towards and waited for menus to be brought over.

“So. Why Boulder?” Greg asked again.

Louis huffed a sigh and folded his arms. “I thought I’d distracted you.”

“Not well enough,” Greg said with a wink. 

“I’m not telling you without Will being beside me. He’d support me in this.” Louis held out his arms and Greg handed the urn over. 

Louis couldn’t help but smile. It probably looked absolutely insane to anyone who saw them walking around all these various places carrying an urn, but it almost felt second nature now.

“Well? It can’t be that bad.”

Pursing his lips and considering his options, Louis narrowed his eyes at Greg. “You swear you won’t make fun of me?”

Greg theatrically dragged his finger across his chest and said, “Cross my heart, hope to die.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Louis said, rolling his eyes. He nervously swept his fringe across his forehead and cleared his throat. “It’s cause of one of my favorite movies. It took place here, and while most of the scenes were filmed in Vancouver, parts of it were still done in the area.”

“And Will knew it meant a lot to you?”

Louis nodded, looking down at the urn. For all of middle school, after it came out on DVD, Will used to watch the movie with Louis every night before bed. He never once made fun of Louis, not even when Louis explained why he liked it so much.

“So what one was it?”

“What?” Louis asked, looking up at Greg.

Greg gave him a lopsided smile. “What movie?”

Shifting in his seat, Louis muttered, “ _Catch and Release.”_

“What was that?” Greg asked, leaning forward.

Louis glared at him, not really wanting to repeat his admission. He was a bit of a sap and he did enjoy romantic comedies, but this one was different than most and Louis was a bit defensive.

“Here are the menus for you boys. What can I get you to drink?”

Louis looked up at the woman whose name tag read _Martina._ “Do you have Dr. Pepper?”

“Sorry, hun. Sure don’t. I can get a Cherry Coke for you, though.”

“Oh, that would be great. Thanks.”

Greg ordered a hot chocolate and a water, and Martina walked away. Louis immediately started studying the menu, hoping to dissuade Greg from continuing his questions.

“Uh-uh. Come on, say it again? I honestly couldn’t hear you.”

Sighing, Louis sat back in the booth and looked Greg straight in the eyes. “ _Catch and Release.”_

Greg’s brows furrowed. “Wait... is that the one with Jennifer Garner? Her husband or whatever dies right before the movie starts?”

“It’s her fiance, and yes. That’s the one.”

“God, I had to watch that so many times with Bella and Catherine. Not a bad one, though. Why was it your favorite? You were quite young still when that came out, weren’t you?”

Louis rolled his eyes. “I was eleven when I first saw it, yes.”

Greg tilted his head. “Yeah, so why did that particular movie catch your attention?”

Louis blushed and looked back at the menu. “Let’s find something to eat and then maybe we can continue this conversation.”

Greg was watching Louis so intently he could feel his gaze, but eventually Greg pulled his menu closer. Louis was smiling at the random assortment of meal options when Martina returned.

“You boys ready, or should I give you some more time?”

Louis looked up at Greg, who nodded. 

“If you’re ready, I can be too. Just maybe order first so I can make my final decision?”

“Alright,” Louis said, dragging out the word while he made his final choice. “I think I’ll take the hot dog and sweet potato fries. Thank you.”

Greg gave Louis a skeptical look before ordering himself a reuben and handing their menus to Martina.

“I thought you said you wanted a sandwich.”

Louis shrugged. “Yeah. So I got a hot dog.”

“In what world is a hot dog a sandwich?”

“It’s surrounded by bread. It is bread with a filling. Is that not essentially the definition of a sandwich?”

“I…” Greg’s entire face scrunched in confusion before several other emotions played out in quick succession. “I’m not sure I have a response for that. I guess it could be a definition of a sandwich.”

“Right. Then there you go. A hot dog is a sandwich.”

“Do you honestly call it a sandwich though? Like on a regular basis? Or are you just doing this to rile me up and prove that you’re incredibly good at persuasion?”

Louis laughed. “I’m not good at persuasion at all.”

“I’m here with you right now, aren’t I?”

“What’s that got to do with anything?” Louis asked. “I thought you said this was more to do with Will than me, anyway.”

“And it is,” Greg said, excited that Louis seemed to be catching on to what he was saying. “But you’re the one who framed it so I would see it like that and want to join you.”

Louis blinked. “I wasn’t even trying to do that. I just needed someone with me and thought you were the best option.”

“And I appreciate that, but this also shows you’re just a natural at this. Makes sense. Will always said you had everyone wrapped around your finger.”

Louis squawked. “What? I do not!”

Greg hummed. “Okay, so seriously. You’re good at persuading people to do whatever you want them to, that isn’t the question. The question is, do you actually honestly consider a hot dog a sandwich in your mind?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Louis said with a shrug.

“You are such a strange man,” Greg said, leaning back with a smile.

“See, there’s the judgement I feared for telling you about why I wanted to visit Boulder.”

“But I didn’t judge you for that. I judged you for calling a hot dog a sandwich,” Greg said, pointing at Louis. “But, now that you brought it up, I am still curious about the why for that movie choice.”

Martina dropped off their food, and they thanked her before looking back at one another.

Dipping one of his sweet potato fries into some ketchup, Louis twirled it around a little. “It was the first time I really had a crush on a boy.” Looking up to see how Greg was handling the information, Louis said, “It was that movie that helped me come to realize and accept that I’m gay.”

Greg nodded slowly. “That’s a big deal for a boy. It makes sense now.”

“Yeah,” Louis said softly before popping the fry in his mouth. It was the exact amount of crispy that still held the flavor of the sweet potato. It was perfect.

“Mine was _The Rocketeer,”_ Greg said.

Louis looked up at Greg. “Your what?”

Greg shrugged. “The movie that helped me realize I wasn’t straight. I didn’t get it right away, mind you. I thought for a long time that it was just because Jennifer Connelly was gorgeous and the rocket backpack was awesome.”

“Makes sense,” Louis said, smiling.

“Yeah. Well, after not having watched it for several years I went back and watched it when I was seventeen and realized that Billy Campbell was just as captivating for me as Jennifer Connelly, and here I am.” Greg held his arms out to either side of himself, as if showing himself to Louis for the first time. “Not so baby bi Greg.”

Louis snorted. “Nice.”

“Thanks,” Greg said, shoving about a quarter of his sandwich into his mouth, all at once. “So, which guy was it in the film? Was it the one she ended up with or the nice guy? Or, for a fun twist, maybe it was the roommate who writes the quotes for the tea?”

“No,” Louis said, laughing. “Not him. It was Sam Jaeger. The nice guy.”

“Ah, the nice guy. He always finishes last,” Greg lamented.

Louis hummed. After that, they remained quiet as they focused on their food. 

Louis gave Will’s urn a couple of pats of solidarity in thanks for the courage he’d lent Louis to tell Greg his story.

It wasn’t until later that night that Louis realized Greg had held true to his word and not made fun of Louis at all. He might have scooted a little closer to Greg in bed that night because of it, but he wasn’t about to admit it to anyone.

*~~***~~*

Louis smiled to himself and bounced his leg. It had been incredibly difficult, but he hadn’t ruined the surprise for Greg on where their next destination was.

It was mostly difficult because Greg was fucking annoying when he wanted to be.

He’d taken control of the playlist hours ago and was currently yelling the lyrics to “Barbie Girl” at the top of his lungs, claiming it was one of Will’s favorites. He even held a handful of Will’s ashes out the window as they drove and he screamed the song.

Louis was having a hard time not thinking it was adorable as much as it was annoying.

Finally rolling the window up again when the song ended, Greg turned to Louis. “We’ve been on Route 66 for ages now. Please say we’re close. I want to know where you’re taking me.”

Louis narrowed his eyes. “The phone says we’ll be there in the next fifteen minutes. And you do remember that the reason I’m keeping it a secret from you is because I know you’re going to really like this one, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Greg said, heaving a massive sigh. “You keep saying that but I’m just not sure I believe you.”

“We’ve spent the better part of eleven days in a car. This is not nearly so long of a drive as it was to get to South Dakota,” Louis said. He was not impressed with Greg’s attitude when he was trying to do this as a fun thing for Greg. “Come on, give me a break and have a little faith in me, okay?”

Greg perked up and started hitting the screen of his phone until the opening chords to the John Hiatt classic started to play from the speakers.

“Oh my God, you’re going to serenade me again, aren’t you?” 

Louis looked over at Greg, but he didn’t respond. Greg just snapped his fingers and swayed from side to side as the piano played.

“When the road gets dark,” Greg crooned, and Louis was surprised. It was the first time he’d ever heard Greg _try_ to sing a song without just rapping it or screaming it on the top of his lungs. He didn’t sound half bad. “And you can no longer see, just let my love throw a spark, and have a little faith in me.”

Louis rolled his eyes. “It isn’t me who has to have faith in you. It’s you who needs to have faith in me.”

Greg ignored Louis and continued singing, even leaning over the middle console so he was right next to Louis’ face. As he sang, his breath brushed against Louis’ cheek, and he did his best not to shiver despite the goosebumps that were erupting over his skin.

When the chorus came, Louis started singing along, even turning towards Greg to sing parts of it, since the road was so straight. 

Louis gulped after singing the first line of the chorus, full volume at Greg. It wasn’t that he’d forgotten that Greg was that close, it was just that Louis hadn’t really fully thought through his plan and what turning to Greg would mean.

It meant that when Louis quickly turned to Greg and leaned forward to sing so loud, his nose pressed against Greg’s cheek, just to the side of his own and their mouths almost touched. It was a strangely intimate feeling, singing into his mouth. Louis wasn’t quite sure what to make of it.

He did know he needed to turn back to look at the road so he didn’t kill them, though, so he did exactly that despite his heart trying to rabbit out of his chest. 

God. Louis couldn’t do this. He could _not_ fall for Greg. Ages ago, Louis and Will had promised that even though they were each other’s very best friend and even closer than brothers, they would still have their own friends. They didn’t want to be like other sets of twins that had to share so much they ended up resenting each other. Because of that, they would still hang out with each other and their friends sometimes, but more often than not they kept to their own groups.

Greg was firmly in Will’s camp. Louis couldn’t…

Will was no longer here. Louis squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to fight back the shooting pain that caused his heart to skip a beat when he realized he’d forgotten for a half second. Will didn’t have a claim on anyone anymore. Not really. 

Louis felt like it was still wrong, though. Like he’d be somehow infringing on Will’s territory if he were to allow himself to be close to Greg. Maybe they could be friends. Support each other through this difficulty and maybe even have a special bond because of it. But nothing more.

Relief flooded him when he realized Greg either hadn’t noticed Louis’ slight lapse and resulting awkwardness or he didn’t care. Louis would take either one. It did seem, though, that he had noticed the almost kiss. How could he not, really. But now he was singing the words even softer, causing Louis to pay attention to the lyrics again.

“And when your back’s against the wall, just turn around and you, and you, you will see,” Greg sang, just above a whisper. He dragged his nose up Louis’ cheek gently before tilting so he whispered right into Louis’ ear, “I will catch you, I will catch your fall, baby. Just have a little faith in me.”

John continued crooning the chorus at high volume through the speakers, and Louis swallowed so harshly that he could clearly hear it. Hopefully Greg couldn’t.

Greg had stopped singing, just in time for Louis to pull off the freeway and into the parking lot for the Fanning Outpost General Store. When Louis had parked, the song was still going and Louis nervously looked up at Greg.

Reaching out slowly, like he didn’t want to spook Louis, Greg brushed his hair out of his eyes without saying a word. His fingertips left sparks behind them, causing Louis’ skin to tingle despite the fact he barely touched Louis at all. The air felt thick, tense, and Louis didn’t even know what it meant. 

“So,” Greg said softly when the song ended and silence fell inside the car. “Is this what you were being so secretive about all day?”

Louis blinked several times before nodding and finally pulling away so he could undo his seatbelt. “Yep,” he said, his voice coming out all squeaky. Embarrassed, he cleared his throat and tried again. “Yep, this is it.”

Mood broken, they climbed out, and because of where they were parked, Greg still hadn’t seen it. Louis was glad, because he was practically buzzing with excitement over what his reaction would be now.

“Hold on, let me get my phone ready.”

“Are you going to film me?” Greg asked, laughing. “Is it really that big a deal?”

Louis arched his brow as he made sure his camera app was up and set to video. “Absolutely.”

Greg raised his arms and stretched, moaning as he arched his back and twisted from side to side. Louis tried not to focus too much on the sliver of skin and the trail of hair that was visible when Greg’s shirt raised up, but he couldn’t help it.

“Got your camera ready? I’m ready for my walk down the runway.” 

Louis laughed as Greg did a horrible impression of Blue Steel, picked up the urn, and began to walk around the corner of the General Store as he swung his hips ridiculously.

“I really don’t… holy fucking shit!”

Greg had stopped in his tracks and tilted his head back to take in the full breadth of what was in front of him. Louis was only just containing his laughter at Greg’s reaction, but it was worth it for the video he was getting.

“That’s a fucking massive rocking chair. Holy shit.” Greg continued cussing under his breath as he slowly started walking towards it.

“It’s the world’s largest rocking chair,” Louis said, giggling. “Or, well, it was. Until a couple years ago. Now the biggest rocking chair is in Illinois, but for some reason Will still wanted to come to this one.”

“Are we allowed to get in it? Not sure how we’d do it, but I’m sure we could improvise,” Greg murmured as he walked up beside it. “Even I feel small next to this thing!”

Louis ended the video and gave Greg an apologetic smile. “Sorry. Can’t. Apparently they have one day a year where they do pictures on it, but it’s already passed.”

“That’s alright. This is insane.” 

They stayed for a few more minutes before making sure to leave some remnants of Will all around the chair. They grabbed a few snacks, and headed to their next destination.

*~~***~~*

Louis walked into the hotel room. Greg had been complaining to Louis about his choice of hotels the entire way and finally wore Louis down.

“Greg,” Louis said in awe as he walked in. “This is the fanciest hotel room I think I’ve ever been inside.”

Greg shrugged. “It’s the last night of our trip to say farewell to Will. Figured it was worth a bit of a splurge.” After a pause, Greg continued, much quieter. “You’re worth a bit of a splurge.”

Ever since the day of the rocking chair when they’d shared that charged moment in the car, things had shifted between them. They were just as comfortable and easy as they had been, but there was something else now too. Louis couldn’t even begin to put his finger on it. Greg had always been tactile, but it was like he let his touch linger just a little bit longer now. Let his eyes linger a little bit longer.

Louis had tried to ignore it. He still wasn’t sure how he felt about allowing himself to fall for Greg and what Will would think about it. Will wasn’t physically with them anymore, but Louis still felt him sometimes. When Louis couldn’t sleep and Greg was snoring beside him, sometimes he’d even whisper out loud to Will on the off chance he could hear. He’d promised so many things. That he’d live for the both of them. That he’d still get the tattoos they had planned. That he’d always keep Will’s memory close.

But he’d never once spoken out loud his thoughts and concerns about Greg. He didn’t want to chance it.

Now, though, it seemed they’d have to finally talk about it. It was the last night, and Louis had planned to ignore what had shifted between them and allow things to go back to how they’d always been when they got home. Greg apparently had different plans.

Greg pursed his lips like Louis had noticed he did when he was thinking hard about something, then he walked towards Louis slowly. Louis could hardly breath, much less move away to give himself more space. He could only tilt his head back so he could keep his eyes on Greg’s face once he came to a stop just in front of Louis.

“Lou…” Greg trailed off, not saying anything else. 

Louis studied his face, waiting for more. The tension that had been present more often than not the past few days was back, and Louis was having a hard time keeping himself from leaning into Greg’s warmth.

“Yeah?” Louis asked, hoping that Greg would continue. Louis needed him to continue. Had to hear what Greg wanted to say, so he could maybe finally start to figure out the mess that was the inside of his head.

Greg’s hand cupped Louis’ cheek before dropping down to his neck. He was so warm, it felt like he was infusing Louis with his body heat. Louis couldn’t help it anymore. He leaned forwards and put his forehead against Greg’s chest before allowing his hands to drop to Greg’s hips. It felt so natural, like he’d been doing it for years when really it was the first time they’d been so physically intimate since that night on the dance floor at the club.

This was nothing like that night. Standing with Greg like this, alone in their shared hotel room felt a million times more sensual than grinding on a crowded dance floor.

“You have to know how I feel about you,” Greg said, keeping his voice quiet enough to not break what felt so fragile between them. “It seems like you do and you maybe feel the same.”

Louis took in a shuddering breath and nodded. “Yeah. I mean, I think so. But can you say it just so I’m sure?”

Greg let out a quiet laugh before pressing a soft kiss to the top of Louis’ head. He wrapped his arms around Louis.

“I’ve always liked you, you know.”

Louis’s heart jumped while the rest of him froze. “What?”

“I mean, not _always,”_ Greg said. “Not in this way.”

“Thanks for the clarification,” Louis quipped.

Greg laughed before saying, “I really didn’t realize I liked boys as well until senior year of high school, and you were still young enough at that point I didn’t think of you guys as more than just sweet kids. But yeah, I’ve been interested in at the very least getting to know you better for a long time now. Pretty much ever since that birthday party you guys had where only one or two of your friends came.”

Louis pulled back from Greg. “You mean the year we turned fifteen?”

It was the first year they had a full fledged birthday party for both of them at the same time, and it felt ridiculously important. They’d combined it with New Years’ Eve, and most of Louis’ friends were still out of town with family, so he’d been incredibly disappointed. Greg had randomly checked in on him all night, and he’d felt much better, even though nothing had truly changed about the party itself.

Louis had completely forgotten about it until now.

“Yeah.” Greg’s eyes were so wide and gentle. Louis had never seen him look so tenderly at anyone. “I think Will figured it out that night, too.”

“What?” Louis asked, thrown off. “Did he really?”

Greg looked embarrassed as he nodded. “He was always talking to me about you after that. I thought I had been subtle, or that you guys were too young to figure it out just yet, but remember when you two graduated high school and I got us that twelve pack to celebrate while your parents pretended to not know we were drinking?”

“Oh God, yeah.” Louis covered his face. That had not been one of his finer moments. It was his first time drinking and he hadn’t been able to hold his alcohol at all. 

“Yeah. That night, Will basically sat me down and said he thought we would be perfect together, you and me.”

Louis took a deep breath and let his hands fall away so he could look at Greg. “Why didn’t he ever say anything to me?”

“Probably because I said I didn’t think you were interested, and unless you ever showed interest I wasn’t going to rob the cradle.”

Louis gave Greg an unimpressed stare. “I’m nearing thirty. Do you still see it as robbing the cradle?”

“It’s a bit different now we’re adults, isn’t it?”

Louis walked up to Greg and looped his arms around his waist so he could hug Greg close. Greg’s arms didn’t take long to follow suit, and Louis closed his eyes. It was so much to take in.

“He really thought we’d be good together? All those years ago?”

“Yeah,” Greg said with a laugh. “And pretty much ever since then, too. Every time I broke up with someone, he’d remind me of how great a catch you were.”

“Well he must be the worst wingman of all if it took him dying to finally have you act on it,” Louis teased, but it still hurt to say. He wanted to be able to joke and laugh away the pain. He felt like he had to. He was having a hard time dealing with the pain, much less processing everything Greg had revealed.

“Nah,” Greg said, gently dragging his hand up and down Louis’ spine. It wasn’t sexual in any way, but it awoke his nerve endings in ways he didn’t think was even possible. “I just honestly didn’t think I’d ever have a chance. Not like this. I didnt even think I did when you called me about this trip.”

“Why not?” Louis asked. He was genuinely curious. Greg had never been on his radar, mostly because he was Will’s friend and he saw Greg so rarely that he’d never had a reason to think of him as anything other than just… Greg.

Greg put his hands on Louis’ shoulders and pushed him away just enough so he could then tilt Louis’ head up to look at him. “You’re everything I ever wanted. I didn’t think it was possible to actually have a chance with you.”

Louis felt like everything in him was begging to be closer to Greg, touching him with every part of himself. But for now, he’d settle for just one thing.

“Greg?” he finally asked.

“Yeah?”

“Kiss me, please. Right now.”

Greg’s face split into a wide smile. “Yeah. Alright.”

When their lips touched, Louis felt like something clicked into place. Greg had always been a part of him because he was so close with Will. Only now that he was with Louis did it feel like that part was truly where it should be. As it should be.

Louis’ heart was broken, and he wasn’t sure he would ever truly be without the scars left behind from losing Will. But maybe, just maybe, Greg’s scars matched Louis’. Maybe they could compliment each other in ways Louis had never considered.

Maybe there was room for Louis to mourn Will at the same time he could grow to care for Greg, possibly even love him one day.

Maybe.

*~~***~~*

The last of Will’s ashes billowed out behind the car as both Louis and Greg held their hands out the window. They could see the skyline of the city they called home, and once the windows were rolled up, Greg gently placed the urn in the back seat.

“There you are, Will,” Greg said with a smile. He pulled Louis’ hand into his and gave it a gentle kiss before he looked back at the urn. “You’ll make sure we’re okay, yeah?”

Louis laced their fingers together and gave Greg’s hand a gentle squeeze. He somehow knew, they would be more than okay. It would take time to get there, but together they could do it.

**Author's Note:**

> My heart belongs to Grouis forever. lol 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked it! Thanks for reading. I would appreciate kind comments and kudos, should you feel so generous. I also have a fic post, which can be found [here](https://lululawrence.tumblr.com/post/618463862954541056/always-keep-you-next-to-me-by-lululawrence-greg) should you feel so inclined as to share it with the world hehe


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